Title: After the Tavern (WIP) (3/?) Author: Adrienne < davephile@yahoo.com > Date: July 10, 2008 Rating: R Spoilers: Let's say through S8 Classification: SRA, AU Keywords: Mulder/Scully, Scully/Reyes Archive: Anywhere, in its entirety Summary: Apparently, three is in fact a crowd. Disclaimer: I don't own them, I just play with their Barbies when I'm not writing them into sexual situations. AUTHOR'S NOTES: Thanks to Marigold for the sweet beta lovin'. I don't think she knew what she was getting into when she said she'd help me out with my "tough story." Please check out parts 1 and 2 before this one. Keep an open mind! I know I said that hot sex would abound, but the hot sex is taking its time. Be patient and your patience shall be rewarded tenfold. Also keep in mind that this story goes to uncomfortable places. Angst and anger. Hurt and confusion. Sex and consequences. Bring it on. There will definitely be a fourth and fifth part. They'll come soon. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Mulder had gone to Scully's apartment to try and convince her that the night before had been one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He had spent the afternoon working through the embarrassment, anger and defensiveness that came along with the entire scenario. He knew what she'd said was right; he and Scully had waited a terribly long time to act on anything. Their relationship consisted of carefully calculated faux platonic interactions until very recently. Their turn as lovers was new, exciting and damn hot. And then last night happened. His vehement denial of responsibility was to hide his true feelings from her, his embarrassment at the trite and reckless stunt he pulled by having sex with someone, right in front of her, no less. Monica was by all standards sexy, smart and funny. A girl that he'd have banged a hundred times over ten years earlier. With Scully in the picture, his desire had changed, had focused like a pinpoint on the one person he knew he could spend the rest of his life with. Not some harebrained one-night stand after a few too many beers. He was ashamed of what he did. But when he'd walked in on Monica and Scully on her couch tonight, he was ashamed at what a fool he'd become. It should have been obvious to him what path Scully was going to take after he saw how much she was enjoying Monica in his own bed. He should have known to prepare, to numb himself against the hurtful rejection that had stunned him as he stood in her doorway. It was too late. He'd angrily returned her key, a move he knew propelled them ten thousand paces backward on their relationship's evolutionary scale. But he was so angry at how she'd played the victim and then shoved it right back in his face. Mulder entered his apartment and couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. It felt emptier than ever. He glanced into the bedroom and chose his couch instead. Dependable and sturdy. His goddamn couch was the only constant in his life. How very fucking sad, he thought as he lay down. He tried not to remember his first time making love to her on those very cushions, how she clutched at him and pulled at him and moaned his name, branding his soul. It would always carry her impression. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx That night the dream began, sickly vivid, the biting scent of pine assaulting her senses. His screams for help pierced the eternal quiet of the forest. He was calling her name, again and again. She was searching, lost in an Oregon wilderness. What she found was not who she knew. His face pale and mottled and mutilated. She held it in her hands. She was lost. Scully woke up in her own bed. Her face was wet with tears or sweat, she wasn't sure which. She willed herself to calm down, a hiccup of a sob escaping. Stop. Stop. Stop. Mulder's not gone. Mulder's not dead. Mulder's alive. Alive, alive. She wished that the most horrible details of the dream had been fantasy. No one she knew had held the dead body of their best friend in their arms, then been able to hold him again, warm again, a struggling ray of sunshine amidst lost hopes and dreams. After Mulder returned, she had realized she was suffering from mild post-traumatic stress disorder. Most of the time, touching him and talking to him warded off those demons. It was like it never happened as she placed the entire unbelievable idea of Mulder's rebirth in the dark corner of her mind. She knew he still felt pain sometimes, but kept it inside. It wandered behind his hazel eyes, a lion pacing in its cage. She had kept hers inside too, with every other cataclysmic event that punctuated their lives. She wasn't sure if there was any more room in that dark chamber. Something had to give. As Scully drifted in and out of hazy slumber, she wondered if she should go to the guest bedroom and crawl into the bed just for the comforting feeling of a warm body next to hers. It wouldn't be Mulder; she didn't want him right now. He had hurt her too badly. It would be Monica, who she'd told to stay the night. But she was afraid of where her own need for intimacy might take them. She decided against it. It wasn't the time for foolish acts. She had enough tough decisions to make in the morning. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx The morning began normally. Almost. Monica had left early to get ready for work at her apartment, but left Scully a note on her kitchen table. "Hope you slept well. Give me a call later. M." M. Now there were two, this one with feminine handwriting. Scully felt the drag of two days' worth of emotional wreckage as she got ready for work, perfecting her hair and makeup as always, pulling on her firmly pressed suit, slipping into the heels that had become essential tools in making up the vertical and psychological distance between herself and her partner. She was intimidated by the day as it spread its early morning wings. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SKINNER'S OFFICE 9:05 A.M. Scully exited the Assistant Director's office, closing his door with a gentle pull. She flashed a quick, nondescript smile to his secretary and escaped into the garish fluorescent lights of the hallway. Done. It was done. She left the building and sat on a bench outside, letting the sounds of the city salvage what was left of her heart. Noisy and overbearing, life kept moving. She flipped open her phone and called Monica. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SKINNER'S OFFICE 10:15 A.M. "Agent Scully has requested and been granted a two-week leave of absence. She has also requested an interdepartmental transfer, effective immediately." Mulder glared at the phone on Skinner's desk, his jaw tightly set. He felt the anger that had been slowly simmering for days well up inside of him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, opening them again to Skinner's intolerant stare. "What?" Mulder asked pointedly. "What?" Skinner asked. "You're asking me what? Agent Mulder, I'm asking you what. What the hell's going on here?" "It's not a Bureau matter," Mulder said. "The hell it isn't," Skinner spat. "It's my deal now. One of my best agents has requested leave and an immediate transfer. Now, I'm assuming it's because of you. She was all torn up in here Agent Mulder, and there's only one person who can do that to her." "I really don't feel comfortable discussing my personal life or that of Agent Scully in a professional environment, as it's not appropriate. I don't know why she requested leave and transfer," he said, his heartbeat quickening. "The fuck you don't," Skinner said, slamming his palm against his desk. The sound echoed through his office. "I'm putting you on immediate leave without pay until we can investigate the matter further to make sure protocol hasn't been breached, including," he added, "the explicit rules barring fraternization between Bureau employees." Mulder's infuriated glare was interrupted by a flinch of fear, from which he quickly recovered. "Fine." "I will be taking independent statements from you and Agent Scully tomorrow. I need you here to answer my questions at 10 a.m. Do not be late," he threatened. Mulder closed his eyes, felt them stick dryly to his eyelids. He pulled them open. "Fine." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx When Mulder left Skinner's office he went straight to his basement retreat to call Scully. He needed to call her, talk some sense into her, try to convince her that this time, like all the other times she'd tried to leave him, wasn't a good idea. The few minutes it took him to ride the elevator seemed painfully long. In the privacy of his office he went straight for his phone and dialed her cell number. His stomach sunk, deep and sick, at the disconnection notice that made its announcement in his ear. Things were worse than he'd imagined. He stood, receiver in hand, as the message repeated. His mind traveled wildly along paths of desperation; what to do next, what not to do. Scully apparently wanted to be left alone. Whether he could obey her wishes was another story. In the parking garage he sat in his car, keys in the ignition, engine idling, going nowhere. This had never happened. Of all the things they'd been through, been exposed to, been wounded by, they'd never severed the line of communication between them. It was umbilical, connecting him to her vitality to keep him going every day. He knew she felt the same way. Had felt the same way. He didn't understand why he'd had sex with Monica. The biological drive to do it, of course, explained a lot, but he'd never wanted her that way. That night he'd been so captivated by watching the two of them together, almost a nurturing act, that he'd felt a twinge of jealousy that he couldn't brush off. Scully was his nurturer, always had been, and the way she was kissing Monica was the way she kissed him, too. He'd wanted to be a part of it, but for some reason, he chose the wrong side of the equation. It didn't sum up, it never would, and even though Monica had felt hot and gorgeous and incredible in her own ways, it had left him empty. There was no value to it. He had to make Scully understand it, no matter how much it hurt her to listen. He knew what she was doing?she was closing back up, like a flower to the setting sun. It was how she dealt with anything disturbing she faced. Deep inside of her there was a dark place where her pain was secretly stored away from the world. Maybe if she understood that it meant nothing she would realize what they might lose if they didn't try to save it. He drove to Georgetown. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SCULLY'S APARTMENT 10:30 P.M. Scully sat awake with an unopened book in her lap. The house had been eerily quiet all evening; she wasn't accustomed to spending the time alone anymore. She knew Mulder was probably brooding somewhere, making a plan to assault her with all of the reasons she was wrong, that she was making a mistake, being irrational, if only she would listen, she might understand this time. She was so tired of Mulder trying to explain everything away in an attempt to keep her on his short leash. She was surprised he hadn't come to the apartment as soon as he found out she'd disconnected her cell phone. She guessed he knew she wouldn't answer the door. That would only aggravate him more, and the last thing they needed was a scene. Skinner had called her a few hours ago at her new cell number to tell her she needed to appear at a hearing in the morning regarding her request for transfer. She didn't want the morning to come. She was dreading questions she may not want to answer. She might not even have the answers he demanded. Scully had holed up in her apartment tonight with the explicit purpose of avoiding him as long as possible. The only place she needed to be was that hearing tomorrow morning, as ready as she possibly could be. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SCULLY'S APARTMENT COMPLEX 7:30 A.M. Scully quickly walked to her car. The early morning had left a humid mist in the air that clung to her skin. She caught a glimpse of movement to her right and instinctually knew who it was. Mulder was waiting for her to emerge. He'd seen her leave and now he was going to confront her in front of the world. She always knew he was a man of passion, but he was also despicably tenacious at times. Her stomach turned as she walked faster. He was catching up to her quickly, her pace no match for his long strides. "Hey," he called, breaking into a jog. Her car was within view. If she ran, she might make it. He also might jam a body part into the door, jump on the hood of her car, or cause some other sort of erratic scene she desperately wanted to avoid. Scully stopped, waiting for him with her back turned. He came up beside her, panting a bit. "Why did you disconnect your phone?" Mulder got right to the point. "Because things changed last night," she said. She watched him flinch, the sting of her bluntness most likely hitting him a little harder than he'd expected. "Scully, I know you're mad. Obviously...extremely mad. I know I completely screwed up. Not just by hurting you, but by being afraid to acknowledge the damage that I did to us," he said. She closed her eyes, tapping her toes anxiously against the cement sidewalk. "I'm not buying it, Mulder," she said with a shrug. "What exactly do you think I'm selling here?" Anger tinged his words. "I know you're hurt. Because I know you, Mulder, and I know how you make a mistake and then berate yourself for it a thousand times over. But there are some things..." She paused, studying a discarded coffee cup in the wilted grass. Focusing kept her tears inside. "There are some things that happen that are beyond the realm of penance and forgiveness." Mulder's mouth screwed up into a tense frown, his contemplative stare taking her in. She could feel him trying to peel off the layers she'd built overnight to protect herself from his words. "So what about you and Monica, then? Apparently, I'm to forgive and forget how you were all over her. How she had her fingers in you, Scully, remember that? And you kissing her like you were supposed to be kissing me." "Mulder, don't get obscene," she whispered, her mind wrapping around his words. "It's not the same." "How is it not the same?" "I can't explain myself to you any better than you've explained yourself to me." Irritation flooded her voice. "The whole thing was one big sorry mistake, but I can't get it out of my head. If you ever were with me again, Mulder..." She swallowed, her throat straining as she denied her tears once again. "I would always think of you with her. I can't do that to myself. I can't live like that." He breathed out heavily. She watched the anger flash through his eyes and knew he was trying to control himself. And then that anger burst. "You think you're so high on your pedestal. You make the judgments; you bring down the verdict and carry out the punishment, Scully. I don't need you pushing your guilt and confusion down on me. You know what happened. You know I'm sorry." "You've never once said you were sorry," she snapped. "You never do. And that's because you never are." He shook his head. "Jesus Christ..." "I've got a hearing to get to," she said. "And if you're ever going to pray, then yes. This is the time to start." Mulder stood still, the wind pushing at his back as he watched her leave. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx HOOVER BUILDING 9:30 A.M. "Agent Scully, thank you for your understanding in joining us today. Assistant Director Johnson is here to witness the hearing to assure that our questioning proceeds in accordance with appropriate rules of conduct, as we respect your privacy in the matter as much as possible." Scully's mouth was dry as she gave the other party a slight nod, averting her eyes to her icy cold fingers, fiddling with a loose button in her lap. It took a solemn breath to establish firm eye contact with Skinner. She wanted to remain strong. She had to. She wasn't sure where she would pull her strength from, but it had to happen. "Normally in matters related to LOAs and transfers, if there is no reason for suspicion of a breach of protocol, we don't conduct a hearing," Skinner continued. She examined his eyes, a hardness where she normally found a soft spot. She wondered why he'd decided to pursue the matter; he'd always been an ally to the two of them in the past. "What exactly is the breach of protocol that you're investigating?" she asked. There it was. Skinner's eyes flashed empathy for a brief moment. It wasn't him instigating this intrusion. He was just a pawn to someone's crusade to pin them on the one thing she never expected to encounter. "We just need to be briefed on the reasons behind your request for transfer," Johnson replied, jumping in ahead of Skinner. Scully focused on Johnson, her eyes calm. "I have personal reasons for requesting a transfer of duties." "Which are?" Johnson asked. "Assistant Director, I've been working with Agent Mulder on the X-Files for eight years. Though I'm grateful for the professional experience I've gained through my work, I felt it was time to move into an area more suited for my medical background and life's ambitions." It came out exactly as she'd practiced it in front of her mirror dozens of times the night before. The first several times she'd broken down into tears, unable to continue. With more work, she was able to push aside the ache in her chest. When the words flowed out, this time they were assured and conclusive. "So your request for transfer had nothing to do with a personal conflict between you and Agent Mulder?" Johnson had completely taken over and wasn't letting her go easily. Skinner shifted in his seat. She ignored it, too busy trying to steady a lower lip that threatened to tremble and with it, take down the tower. "No," she said, immediately knowing the pause had been too long. She'd practiced. She was angered that her body was betraying all the work she'd done to build herself up for this moment. "Then why did you request an immediate LOA?" Johnson expectantly looked at her. Her pulse raced as she returned the stare. "I haven't had a lot of time off lately." "Honestly, Agent Scully, this is all a bit too sudden to use the excuse of needing a little R&R," Johnson said. He flexed his fingers together. "I'm going to put some formalities aside here and let you know that we take these matters very seriously. The Bureau places great priority on the safety of our agents and our primary concern is for your welfare." Her stomach twisted into a knot. She gulped down her tears with all of her effort. "What exactly are you implying?" Skinner took his turn. "If Agent Mulder conducted himself inappropriately toward you, it needs to be addressed. Confidentially, professionally?" "What are you saying?" Scully interrupted, the shock rolling over her in a wave of nausea. Her breath left her body like the room sucked it away. She blinked repeatedly, a tear escaping the corner of her eye. "Are you implying that Agent Mulder?abused me in some way?" "There are no implications," Skinner said as she quickly brushed the tear off her cheek. "We just need to know why you needed to leave his department immediately. Often, in these cases, it's in response to a trauma and our primary concern is for your safety and well-being." She regained what feeble composure she had left. "Agent Mulder and I are?friends. He wouldn't ever, never. It's an appalling accusation and it sickens me." "Agent Scully, we never made any accusations. You need to be clear on that," Johnson said. "You were the one who used the word 'abuse.'" "He didn't?he wouldn't?" Her abdomen twitched as repulsion reared its ugly head. "No. He has never harmed me. Ever. I want that on the record. Never," she said. "In fact, if my LOA and transfer are going to create a situation with people tossing unfounded and incredible accusations around, I might as well tender my resignation today." Her voice wavered and she bit her tongue. "There's no need for that," Skinner responded, taking a deep breath. "We just need a verbal and written statement indicating that there was no inappropriate contact toward you instigated by Agent Mulder, or any other Bureau employee for that matter." "Here's your verbal statement," Scully said. "No." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Scully exited Skinner's office and found Mulder sitting on the waiting area couch. He was wearing the same clothes as the morning and looked like hell. "What are you doing here?" she hissed, wiping away the few tears that had fallen as she'd walked out the door. "I'm here for my hearing," he answered, drumming his fingers against the arm of the couch. Her eyes widened, mouth agape. "Mulder, don't say anyth--" "Agent Mulder," Skinner said from his doorway. Scully spun around and glared at him. "Why are you interrogating him?" she growled. "It's protocol," Skinner responded, his eyes concerned. "Agent Scully, you're no longer needed today." "Fuck protocol," she said, her voice rising. "I told you everything you needed to know. Don't put him through this. He doesn't know anything." "Agent Scully, you are excused." Skinner's voice echoed in the small room. A deadening silence followed. Mulder got up and walked toward Skinner's office, brushing against Scully as he passed. She stood, frozen, as the door clicked shut behind her. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "Agent Mulder, thank you for your understanding in joining us today. Assistant Director Johnson is here to witness the hearing to assure that our questioning proceeds in accordance with appropriate rules of conduct, as we respect your privacy in the matter as much as possible." Mulder stretched his legs out, sitting slightly askew in the uncomfortable chair. "Nice line, sir." He shot a glance at Johnson, who he'd never seen in his life. He was less than thrilled at meeting him given the occasion. "As you know, we're looking into the possible reasons behind Agent Scully's LOA and request for transfer. We brought you in because, as her partner, we were hoping you could offer some insight into her decision," Johnson said. "Actually, I'm probably in the dark as much as you two on this one," Mulder said. "Did Agent Scully discuss her desire to request an LOA or transfer with you prior to taking action?" Johnson jotted something down on the paper in front of him. Mulder pictured the colorful verbiage most likely being used to describe his appearance and demeanor. Arrogant and underdressed came to mind. "No," Mulder said. "Not at all?" Mulder paused, tilting his head. "Hold on. Let me think for a second?no. Still no." "Do you have any idea why your partner of eight years would suddenly make these decisions, especially without discussing them with you?" Johnson continued his diatribe, his face set in stone. Apparently Skinner brought him in as the muscle of this operation. "No," Mulder repeated. "Don't you think that's a little odd?" Johnson's eyes flicked to meet Mulder's casual glare. "Yes. But I'm not Agent Scully's keeper. I've made many decisions about my life without running them by her first. I assume it's the same for her," he said, his eyes challenging. Take that, pencil jockey. There was a momentary pause. Mulder attributed it to the build-up to the earth-shattering question he expected next and had prepared himself for already. "Agent Mulder, at any point in your partnership with Agent Scully, did you ever cause physical or emotional harm to her?" And there it was, as casually presented as an entree at a run-down diner in some lonely old town he and Scully had visited a thousand times before. Done it all for the Bureau, which was currently asking him to bend over and grab his ankles. "Never," he said. He looked at Skinner, who was examining every twitch of Mulder's face for any sign of deceit. "Did you ever forcibly coerce Agent Scully into having inappropriate contact with you?" Johnson's expression remained unchanged. "What the?are you kidding me?" Mulder shifted his seat, straining to hold himself back from reaching across the desk and throttling this motherfucker in front of him. He looked at Skinner, his eyes pleading. "You can't be serious." "Agent Mulder, we just need an answer to the question," Skinner said. "This is a typical line of questioning for these types of scenarios," Johnson said, watching Mulder squirm. Probably enjoying the hell out of it. "This makes me sick," Mulder said, his throat constricted at the thought of anyone doing that to her, of anyone asking her if he'd done that. "Never. For fuck's sake." He closed his eyes and tried to compose himself. "I would never harm a hair on her head. She's everything to me." "What do you mean by that?" Johnson immediately asked. He scribbled more notes. Mulder sat frozen for a moment. He couldn't believe himself, that he'd let that one fly. Maybe they'd assume he was some crazy stalker that she felt she couldn't escape. Fuck, maybe he was. Maybe they would figure out what it really meant, that he loved her, so deep it was ingrained in him. The pain over the past few days scratched as deeply. "I care about her like you'd care about anyone you'd spent the better part of eight years with," he said. Love, Mulder. The word is love. Dig the hole, jump in, send in the bulldozer. "Did this ever make Agent Scully feel uncomfortable or intimidated?" Johnson asked. "I never told her," Mulder said, biting the chafed skin inside his cheek. He drew blood and tasted metallic defeat. He shifted in his seat and Skinner leaned back. "I think we're done here," he said. "Thank you, Agent Mulder, for coming up." xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Scully was waiting for him in the basement office, sitting in his chair, when Mulder walked in after his hearing. "What did they ask you?" she said, her arms folded across her lap. He sat on the chair in front of his desk, her chair. It was uncomfortable. He decided to get a new one as soon as possible. "They were fairly intrusive," he answered, his elbows on his knees. She stared at him, expecting an elaboration, which he didn't offer. "And?" "And what, Scully? You need a play-by-play? They probably asked us the same stupid questions." He shuffled his feet against the grimy tile floor. "What did you say to them?" Mulder let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm tired of being interrogated." "Mulder." She got up and walked over to stand in front of him, her hands on her hips. He didn't meet her eyes. Her demanding tone angered him; he'd just saved their asses and expected a little more respect for it. "Mulder. Look at me." "Oh, please," he said, his eyes meeting her intent gaze. "I told them what they needed to know." Her look turned incredulous. "What does that mean?" "Whatever you think it means." Her hands dropped from her hips as she groaned, her frustration escaping at last. "Mulder, don't you think it's important for us to compare what was said? In case this comes up again, as it most likely will?" "It shouldn't," he answered. "I cleared things up for them." Scully silently scrutinized him. He knew she was wondering if he was calling her bluff. His eyes were calm as pushed up from the chair, standing in front of her. "You staying? I'm leaving," he said. "Mulder, don't fuck with me." He leaned down so his face was inches from hers. "Yeah, Scully, I think that's what got us into this in the first place," he whispered. Mulder watched her barely keep her composure, like she'd just swallowed a bitter shot of anger and sadness. She gulped, hard, and gave him a barely noticeable nod as she digested his words. He broke their icy stare to grab his coat and leave. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx end part 3